her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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