You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
