why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
