I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
