You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
