note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
