thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
