i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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