i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
