remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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