I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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