I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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