He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
