Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
