took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
