the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
