I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
