I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
