dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
