If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
