dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
