Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
