I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
