Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
