WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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