I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
