the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
