So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
And then my night got REAL pukey
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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