i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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