What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
