Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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