and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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