If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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