i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
