She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
