and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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