I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
