Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
