Can i not drive my cunt home
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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