im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
