White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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