I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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