Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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