So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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