What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
