I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
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