i may or may not be watching the land before time
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
