What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
