so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
