I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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