hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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