Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
