Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
