So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
